Window Treatments
During supper, with his web of a wife, he tows food on a fork. He tells her. She leaves the kitchen. Their window faces mine. We look at the other: intensifying eyes make room for ghosts to exit. An...
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Yoly-I like the final two couplets. The poem feels more genuine in those final moments than the preceding text.Still, not your best work. The poem employs too many telling mechanisms (He says/She...
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a joy to read, Yoly.I had fun hopping from couplet to couplet,backwards reading and forwards...my favorite:An itsy-bitsy spider slides on a rain-pod;one-of-a-kind man is multiplied in tiny-solvent...
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hello<:I like the whole poem but yes,I too, most of all like the ending.and the spiders are way-phatdorothy
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Ryan -Yes, a bit hyphen happy.Thank you for commenting.Peace,Yoly
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Smikes-Thank you for stopping in.I appreciate the kind words.Dorothy-I'm pleased you liked it.This too was peeled away.Perhaps after sharpening the tools,another layer will be dropped.Peace,Yoly
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During supper, with his web of a wife, he tows food on a fork. excellent visualHe tells her. She leaves the kitchen. Their window faces mine. With window facing mine,he tells her, she leaves the room?...
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I like the start of this quite a bit...love he tows food on a fork. I think Ferrogiarros suggestion for the second couplet. The ending is really fabulous!Sue
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